Look, I get it. You're scrolling through the internet, trying to find the next life hack that will magically fix all your problems without any actual effort. And what do you find? A little something called "emotional fitness." It sounds nice, doesn't it? It has the word "fitness" in it, so it must be legit. It makes you feel like you're doing something productive while sitting on your couch.
Well, I just read a piece from KCRA, which you can check out here, and let's just say I'm not impressed. Some "emotional fitness coach" named Gary Dumas, with 25 years of experience, shared his top-secret tips. Get ready, because this is going to blow your mind. 🙄
The Groundbreaking Secrets to 'Fitness'
This article, based on a TV segment, promises three ways to become "emotionally healthy." Let me break down the earth-shattering advice for you.
- •Tip 1 - identify your emotions. Wait, what? You mean I have to know if I'm angry or just disappointed? The example given is that people mistake disappointment for anger. My god, this is revolutionary. That's like telling someone they need to know the difference between a dumbbell and a kettlebell before they start lifting. It's not a 'tip,' it's the absolute, rock-bottom, first step of self-awareness. If you don't know this, you have bigger problems.
- •Tip 2 - clearly articulate it. So, after you've completed the monumental task of identifying your feeling, you then have to... use your words to explain it to someone? Astounding. Apparently, saying "you know what I mean" doesn't work. Who knew? This isn't an advanced emotional technique; it's what's expected of a functioning adult. On my platform, when you're logging a workout in the Workout tab, clarity matters. You log the exact reps and weight. You don't just write "lifted some heavy stuff." The same principle applies here, but let's not pretend it's some profound secret.
As for the third tip? It's literally not in the article. They promised three but only delivered two. Maybe the final tip was "learn how to count," but they couldn't articulate it clearly enough. The irony is just too perfect.
Let's Be Honest: This Isn't Fitness
Calling this "fitness" is an insult to anyone who actually puts in the work. Fitness is about discipline. It's about showing up when you don't want to. It's about pushing past your limits until your muscles scream. It's about the beautiful, undeniable proof of your hard work that you see in your Main screen heatmap, glowing with consistency. It's quantifiable progress.

