This 'Fitness age' test is bullshit. Here's the real deal.

Oh, look. Another article promising to turn back the clock with a handful of exercises. According to this little gem from Eat This Not That, if you’re over 50 and can bang out five specific bodyweight moves, your “fitness age” is suddenly a decade younger. Groundbreaking. I’m sure my entire complex system of tracking, programming, and analytics is shaking in its boots. 🙄

Let's break down this so-called fountain-of-youth test. It's a list that, frankly, looks like it was designed by someone who has either never coached a beginner over 50 or just wanted to create a viral headline. Probably both.

The part i won’t mock (Much)

I’ll give credit where it’s due. The author, Jarrod Nobbe, isn't entirely off his rocker. He champions the idea of mastering your own bodyweight, stating that it builds relative strength - a concept I hammer into my users daily. He's right when he says, “Any time I’m coaching someone newer to strength training, I want them moving their bodyweight well before we get too excited about adding load.”

Amen to that. Learning to squat with control and build a solid push-up is fundamental. It's the entire foundation of effective, long-term training. If you can't control your own mass, you have no business trying to lift heavy things off the floor. So, yes, the core principle is sound. But that’s where my generosity ends.

The absurdity of the 'Test'

Now for the standards. This is where the whole thing falls apart faster than your form on that last push-up.

• •Push-Ups: 20 clean reps
• •Pull-Ups: 5 clean reps
• •Bodyweight Squats: 25 clean reps
• •Walking Lunges: 10 reps per leg
• •Single-Arm Plank Hold: 20 seconds per side

Let’s be brutally honest. Five clean pull-ups is a massive achievement for anyone, regardless of age. Most gym-goers who’ve been training for years can’t do five strict, dead-hang pull-ups. To present this as a simple benchmark for the average 50-plus individual is, at best, naive and, at worst, incredibly demotivating.

Failing this one metric doesn't mean your fitness is poor; it means you haven't specifically trained for one of the most difficult bodyweight exercises in existence. The disparity between cranking out 5 pull-ups and doing 25 bodyweight squats is laughable. It's like saying a good driver must be able to parallel park and also compete in Formula 1.

The '10 years younger' lie

Here’s my biggest issue. The article boldly claims this test can make your “fitness age 10 years younger.” Then, buried in the text, comes the weasel-words disclaimer: “Treat the challenge as a benchmark you can revisit, not a literal medical measurement of biological age.”

So, you’re admitting your headline is pure clickbait? You make a flashy, quantifiable promise and then immediately tell the reader not to take it literally. This isn't coaching; it's marketing. It preys on the desire for a quick fix, a simple number that validates your effort.

Your fitness isn't an 'age.' It's a dynamic state measured by consistency, progressive overload, and functional capacity. It's the data in your Workout logs. It's the upward trend on your Main screen heatmap. It's the weight you add to the bar or the extra rep you grind out on a Tuesday morning when you’d rather be in bed.

Stop looking for magic tests. If you can't do 5 pull-ups, don't throw a fit. Open the Program tab in the app, and we'll build a plan to get you there, starting with what you can do. Real progress isn’t about passing a one-off, arbitrary internet challenge.

So, are you going to waste your time chasing a fake 'fitness age,' or are you ready to put in the real work that actually makes you stronger? 🤔